Mission Statement
by Rexan
Summary: Mission: Get cookies for dinner. The problem: Will be intercepted by the dreaded Crimson Ninja and the legendary Believe It! Man. Failure is not an option. - One shot.


_My sister wrote this, but I proofread it, and proofread it... and prooooofreeaaadd it. (She's got horrible grammar. xD _

_**-SLAP!-** **That's not nice!** _

_Eh... sorry...) I also changed a bit of it, but not really. Only like... say... 5 words or so that weren't originally part of the story. I don't remember where, so don't ask. :P_

_Take your time reading. There's a lot of small stuff thrown in here that you'll miss if you skim. x)_

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"Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Mor-" The bird was cut short as the rock I chucked hit it straight on. The only trace of it was some sky blue feathers that were slowly floating towards the ground.

I got up and trotted to the mouth of my den. "THAT'S NO WAY TO START A GOOD MORNING!" I shouted to the unconscious annoyance.

"SHUT YOUR TRAP!"

"I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"

"IT'S TOO EARLY TO HEAR YELLING!"

My neighbors… are… such… a pain. I went to the back of my hole, thinking, 'I'm running out of spare rocks.' I pushed aside a boulder to reveal a small pit that held some scraps of meat and spare bones. I picked the food up and sniffed at it. 'Well, at least it's not rotten,' I thought to myself. After finishing the minuscule meal, I went into the forest to find some more food.

Rabbits and squirrels were running everywhere. (To me they looked like snacks with legs.) I sat patiently and waited for a not-so-smart animal to get close. I saw a fluffy brown tail swish by, and I leapt for it. I pulled a large squirrel from the bushes.

"Please don't eat me!" he cried. "I have nine kids!"

"Yeah, yeah, like I haven't heard that one before," I told the struggling rodent. I tossed the panicked creature into the air. I opened my jaws, awaiting the tasty squirrel nuggets. Just as the fuzzy meat sack was about to land in my mouth, a sweet, chocolaty smell wafted across my nose. I closed my mouth and looked around to see the smell's origin. The squirrel landed on my head with a squeak; it bounced off and landed on the ground with a _thud_.

"Ha, _ha!_" the squirrel shouted in a triumphant tone. "The squirrel once again triumphs over the dumb wolf!" He then proceeded to stick out his tongue and blew a mocking raspberry.

'Is this guy really this stupid?' I menacingly bared my sharp teeth; he stopped his victory dance and clumsily scampered up the nearest tree.

Sniffing the air and following the pleasant aroma, I came upon a small girl wearing a bright red sweatshirt, a pair of jeans, and black sneakers. She was carrying a plastic container under her arm that was full of fresh cookies. The sight and smell together made my mouth water.

"Hi," I said in a friendly tone. I guess either A: she didn't hear me walk up to her, B: I looked big and scary, or C: she thought I wanted to eat her; because she pulled a martial arts move and landed me flat on my back.

"What do you want?" she said glaring down at me. Man, I had no clue little girls could be so scary.

"Could I please ha—"

"_No!_" she so rudely interrupted. "These cookies aren't for anybody besides my sick grandma!" She stomped off along the path.

I guess if she really wants to give them to her sick old grandma, then I should get there before her. I ran beside the path so I wouldn't run into the "Crimson Ninja" again.

After running and stopping, running and stopping, running and stopping, I finally came across a small house. I walked up to the door and knocked a couple times.

Nobody answered.

I looked in a window to see if anybody was home. The rooms were completely dark. I _needed _to have those cookies, after such a loooooooong time of only eating rodents and annoying birds. That was the only thought that went through my mind.

I searched the outside of the residence for a hide-a-key. There was nothing under the mat, in the shed, under the pots, nothing. As I was about to give up, a gnome caught my eye. On the hat it said, "THERE IS NO KEY IN THE HAT OF THIS GNOME," so of course I went over to the gnome and lifted up its hat. On the statue's bald head was a small key.

I unlocked the door and put the key back. The door opened into a small entryway that branched off into the living room on one side and on the other, it went off into a hallway that probably led to the bathroom and bedrooms. Straight ahead was a table, and the kitchen was next to that. I walked to the table. On it there was a note that said, "Ronda, I went to the ski resort for the weekend, and the skee ball tournament was postponed a week."

I've never heard of a skee ball tournament…' Anyway, I was pretty sure this is what the "little angel's" grandmother meant by "sick." I looked around for a trash can to throw this meaning less junk away. I saw one at the end of the kitchen.

After I threw the note away, I went to search for the room that was hopefully the old lady's.

The first door down the hall, I opened it with a crash into the bathroom.

Oops.

I walked farther down the hall and opened the door into a bedroom. I kind of have a feeling this wasn't hers, since there was a bunk bed in there. I closed the door again.

There were two more rooms left, which were right across from each other. I reached my paws to both doorknobs and opened them at the same time. The room on my right had a double bed and shelves that were lined with movies. (Harry Porker, G.I. Jane, Ebenezer Spruce, and other random movies that were organized in alphabetical order.) To me, this looked like a guest room, so I closed the door.

The door to my left opened to a master bedroom with an open door that led to another bathroom and to the right of the doorway was a king size bed. 'This is probably the right room.'

I opened a drawer to find trophies of all shapes and sizes; fishing, skee ball, bowling, and… wrestling? I rummaged through the drawer some more to find excess trophies in extreme sports. What does this grandma do in her spare time?

Anyways, I closed that drawer and then opened another that was filled with an assortment of nightgowns. I put one on, grabbed an empty frame, and hopped into the bed.

The bed felt like absolute heaven. The mattress was extremely soft, the pillows were probably stuffed with goose down, and the blankets were hand crafted perfection. I fell asleep immediately.

I woke to the sound of the obnoxious slamming of the front door.

"YO, GRANDMA! I BROUGHT YOU SOME COOKIES!" Oh, gee. Who could that possibly be? I jumped out of the bed and opened the door with absolute violence and then screamed at the girl.

"DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT? I WAS TRYING TO TAKE A NAP!" I bellowed at the little demon. Her eyes welled up in tears. Oh great, no cookies for me.

"Grandma! It really is you!" My mouth dropped in shock. "Come give your granddaughter a great big hug!" She stretched out her arms. I galloped over to her and swept her up into my arms in a big embracing hug.

I wanted to puke.

"Hahahahaha. Grandma, you know that my mom will get mad if she finds out that you're growing a beard again," she said, smiling and pointing at my face. This girl was really getting on my nerves, and what type of grandma tries to grow beards, anyway? I put her down and put on the best fake smile I could, without revealing my teeth.

"So?" I asked. "What was that about cookies?"

"We'll have them in second," she told me, "but now…" Her expression darkened and in one swift movement she had me on my back and she pinned me.

"One! Two! Three! Four—"

"NO, LITTLE GIRL!" I heard a guy yell. "THAT'S NO GRANDMA YOU'RE HUGGING! THAT'S A WOLF!" I looked up to see a burly lumberjack who was carrying an axe standing in the doorway. The girl recoiled in surprise - just enough to allow me to jump up and grab the cookie container that was lying on the floor. I barely shoved past the over-sized man and made it out of the crazy house.

Man, did those two humans know how to run. The lumberjack dashed over the streams, over the high up tree branches, and under the rocks. (No, seriously. Under the rocks and the over the branches; he was like Chuck Norris or something.) The girl was like a ninja or a squirrel or something because she was jumping through the trees.

I eventually stopped running because the girl got caught in a ninja fight (the other ninja was this blond kid that kept shouting, "Believe It!") and the lumberjack got eaten by a giant fish. I got home with some scrapes and bruises, and the cookies made a very nice dinner.

Wait? I did all of that for some dumb cookies?


End file.
